Like a Normal Person

After my radiology class on Friday we drove up to Salt Lake to check out all the Christmas lights at Temple Square. We wandered around the mall, stopped in at an art exhibit, and walked all over Temple Square and the visitor's center. Let me repeat, I walked all over all of those places! BAM! Look at me, walking like a normal person.

It was nice to have some free time and just wander around enjoying the festivities. The next day I just wanted to stay in the hotel bed and sleep all day, the cold I had been successfully avoiding finally got me. Oh well. We were lame on Saturday and drove home early. We were happy to make it home before 2am though and not have to pound energy drinks to make it back in the dead of night. I think that's what you call responsible. Apparently being sick makes me act, a little, like an adult.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

Awkward:

• I seriously don't remember how to study, or should I say I remember how I used to study? Poorly and at the last minute so I have an extreme amount of anxiety. This alone is one of the reasons I don't want to go back to school.
• Thinking it would be fun to work in a nursing home one morning at one and then seriously having to restrain myself from taking a woman out in the next one. Patience is not my virtue. God bless you nurses everywhere!  
• Chad getting asked, "want your receipt love?" when we were out one day. Yeah, I'm right here. And no it wasn't in a cute honey, sweetie, I call everyone this kinds way.
• An older man was chatting with me while he waited in line at the nursing home to get his feet checked. He thought I was Norwegian, guess I'm pulling off my hair, he was from Italy and told me all about it. When he was on his way out he extended his arm to, what I thought was, shake my hand. Instead he pulled me in for a big ol' hug. Again, Chad may have younger girls but I've got the old men wrapped around my finger.

Awesome:

• Chad's homemade hot cocoa and apple cider.
• The Big Bang Theory. Sheldon always drove Chad insane and we never watched it. But we jumped into the season when the girls show up and we are in love. The girls make it for us. And now since we are hooked we've gone back to the very beginning. Has anyone else seen the unaired pilot with a different Penny, it was spectacularly horrible.
• My Hubby's photography. I know most of you already know he's a photographer but for those of you who don't, he's amazing. I love being able to work with him and watch him work his magic. He's so great at capturing special moments and awesome with families! Any picture on here that looks great came from him ;) If you live in Southern Utah check him out! We travel up to Northern Utah quite a bit too for all you "up north" peeps! He's building up a clientele and his portfolio so he's got some pretty awesome deals going on right now. Check him out!

Chad Hampton Photography

Bring on the Crazy

A patient inviting me to lunch so she could heal my back. Somehow she managed to walk out of the office with my cell phone number and me saying that lunch sounded great, whoops...  After 3 phone calls and 2 messages from her, all on a Monday morning before 10am, I manned up and said no thank you. She was all of a sudden less than polite with me, telling me that it was my choice if I never wanted to get better.

Old men love my new hair cut. Granted the old ladies do too, but there's something about me that old men love, and the short hair is really upping my game with them. I've said it before and I'll say it again,

Being so uncomfortable trying to sleep all night, pre injections. Being up since before 5am and then finally falling back to sleep with my heating pad..... at 8am. On a Monday. I finally woke up at 9am (our office opens at 9) and frantically tried to get ready without medicating myself first, giant nightmare. I just did a sad crippled run all over the house while I cried and became a sweaty mess. Also, I have never been late to work, I don't count ice storms or flat tires - acts of God cannot be avoided, so I was stressed and embarrassed, and HOT, and a teary mess. Apparently I didn't hide it all too well since no one said a single word to me about being 45 minutes late (I did text that I was running behind).

The handicapped day group came into work for their routine foot care. One of them got a little handsy, I got a looooong hug and then a couple boob grabs as he let me go. By the time I realized it was no accident he already had another handful of boob.


Lucky for me we don't have patients today, I just have to answer the phones and try not to eat the giant bag of mint m&m's that a rep dropped off. Wish me luck.

Chicken Running

What happens when you take a girls computer away from her at work? Obviously blogging comes to a screeching halt. Also be warned, when you announce to people (or the internet) that you have found something to fix your back, you are jinxing yourself, horribly. So I'm back to extreme pain which means my brain function isn't 100%, so this is gonna be random.

We've got a new girl in our office who is taking over my receptionist responsibilities!!! So I'm back to being a medical assistant only. I'm more than happy to leave my little computer behind if it means I get to hang out all day in the back office away from the phones :)

I finally renewed my license so I'm no longer driving around illegally. It's hard to be motivated to drive 30 minutes to the DMV to take a written driving test on a sunny Friday afternoon just to be able to drive. So instead I went this morning and skipped an hour of work. So much better than giving up my Friday afternoon. And yes, I passed that 25 question test like a freaking champ.

Chad and I tried to go for a run last night. I had been feeling so good this weekend. So good. We biked and climbed (duh) and I (my back/leg/hip) felt better than usual even after all that. Until I didn't anymore. I tried running and quickly realized I looked like a hunched over chicken, flapping my arms around and everything. As soon as I stopped I realized I was actually dying. Dying. So I limped around and cried a bunch and then proceeded to really die in a hot bath once we were able to drag me back home. Today started out in a similar hunched over, so painful I want to vomit type way, so I am self medicating with ridiculous amounts of advil and donuts.

It's Spring Break week for Chad so naturally that means that he spent his whole first day off cleaning the entire kitchen and doing massive loads of laundry. Trust me, when our kitchen and laundry finally need doing it's quite the dire situation. My husband is the best. Seriously. Ever.

Sorry for the lack of pictures but I've got half a brain and lots o' pain today. Aaaaaand instead of whining some more, especially since my very last post was on being happy.... sigh.... I will end on this note,  I'm licensed, employed and have a clean kitchen!  

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

Awkward:

• A man calling and asking me for the number to an orthotics company. I told him I didn't have the number and he didn't respond. Dead Silence. Sigh. "Do you want me to google it for you?" I ask.  Of course he did. Unfortunately this isn't the first time people have called me just to google something for them.
• Getting pinched on the butt at a Nursing Home.... by one of the crankiest old ladies I've ever met. Not surprised it finally happened, surprised it was her that got me first though. Yikes.
• The Dr. encountered another patient in Nevada yesterday who had poop on their socks. Took of their shoes and so far so good. Then he reached down for the heel of the sock to pull it off and BAM! Poop. I just don't understand.
• Since last July I've been having back/hip/sciatic nerve issues. After multiple Dr.'s, a chiropractor, doing what I've done before in physical therapy and countless internet searches I think Chad and I have stumbled on to my real problem and how to fix it. Thanks Yo Elliot. You Tube > Doctors. I kid. Kinda....

Awesome:

• We found Paczki's at Kroger on Tuesday. I immediately abandoned my "cleanse" I was doing this week and ate one as pre dinner. We may have bought 2 boxes of them. 4 each sounds reasonable right?
• Thanks to the stretches I found I was standing upright at the end of the day yesterday. Seriously a freakin' miracle.
• Our goal this week: Eat all the gluten in the house. Next week will be remarkably different lol. But for now all the gluten is ours!
• New Bras. In the correct size. Chad has always and will always know better than I do about what size I am. In everything.
• The past 2 days have been in the high 70's. Sorry Michiganders, that one was for you :) If it makes you feel better it rained today and was only 61.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

Chad may have not learned the whole "wear shoes" lesson. Clearly his toe is feeling better.



 

Awkward:

• An 85 year old man loved my scrub top so much he challenged me to dual over it. Specifically, a wrestling match.
• A dad having his little boy pee outside.... our office building.... next to a 5 lane highway. We have public restrooms dad, and if you didn't think we did, there is a gas station right next to us, and an Arby's next to that. All kinds of options besides making you kid pee onto a highway with absolutely no tree/bush/rock cover.
• The same man who wanted to wrestle me told me to "stay sweet" as he was leaving. Another woman kept going on and on about how pretty I was. All this made up for the old lady who called me an M*#%* F#$^&ing Son of a B*^#. Woah. Just Woah. What did I do to deserve the wrath of the Crazy Lady, I said hello.

 Awesome:

• Rukia's haircut. We no longer have our big bear of a dog. She's been replaced by a skinny, little petite thing that has suddenly become very agile and very snuggly. I guess it's cold without that fur coat.
• I climbed my first 5.9 last weekend and then climbed another one yesterday, twice. I know that you all have no idea what that means but I'm super proud of myself and can't wait to go climbing this weekend!
• Candy Drawers. Restocked Candy Drawers.
• Wearing leggings as pants and not caring at all about if I should or not. They are awesome, end of story.



Cars and Teeth and "Street Drugs"

Chad's been paying this week for his wide open schedule these past couple of months. And while I'm normally jealous that he gets to go to school, study a bit, then pick me up, I am not jealous this week. Yesterday afternoon may have been filled with 30 mentally challenged girls all coming in for foot care at the same time but Chad definitely won the "busy week" award. And it's only Wednesday morning.

Saturday night we realized that we had no hot water. Stellar. After calling the wrong emergency number on Sunday Chad finally got a hold of someone on Monday. So after dropping me off at work and going to school he drove back home to meet the maintenance guy. Then he went back to class. Then he went back home to test the water - nothing. Then he came back to town and took me to a chiropractor appointment. Then he went back home to meet the wonderful man who fixed our water heater. And then finally picked me up from work.

At one point during the summer we had a tank of gas last over 2 weeks. Clearly this will not be one of those weeks.

Yesterday he took the car in to get checked out. In addition to what we thought was wrong there are, of course, multiple other problems that need to be fixed. We can live without our sunroof opening or the back windshield wipers working but I would like our car to stay together as we drive down the road.

We also found a physicians volunteer clinic that does dental work! What?! So Chad stopped by yesterday before the car headache to get some paperwork and is turning it all back in today with proof that we are poor enough to go there. Hopefully they can see him soon and fill in the hole in his tooth and let him chew on both sides of his mouth again. The wisdom teeth are a whole other issue that we hope to resolve soon as well.

Again, thank you student loans.

As a side note, Chad asked the receptionist about me going to the clinic to get some pain medication for my back since I don't have a primary care physician. She informed Chad that they do not give out "Street Drugs". So apparently I'll have to go without the crack I thought they could hook me up with. So close...

Zumba Fail

Years ago my sister and I decided to rent a workout dvd from the library. Paula Abdul was teaching us cardio dance moves. It was a riot. We were terrible at it. I think we tried it a couple times before realizing we were much happier running outside, chatting the entire way.

So you think that I would have known how this whole zumba thing was going to play out. But everybody and their mom loves it so I thought that I would give it a try, in the privacy of my own home of course. I wasn't about to shell out money to go make a fool of myself for an hour. So I found a bunch of youtube videos and decided to give it a whirl one night while Chad was at camp.

Keegan should also be fully aware of how this turned out, she tried to teach me turbo jam. Which also required way too much coordination for me. Often times I found myself just jumping up and down because there was no way I was going to figure out the moves before we moved on to new ones.

So there I was in my living room, dripping in sweat, barely doing any of the moves when I finally came to the conclusion that I already had twice before. Cardio dance-ish classes of any kind are not for me. I'm sure you get the hang of it and I'm sure it's way more fun to go take a class, but I really just seem to lack the coordination.

So I tried a Barre video the next day. Holy Freaking Cow. I managed to get through the 20 minute video, legs shaking and trembling the entire time. That stuff was no joke. If you ever want to feel like you have little baby legs with absolutely no strength give this a whirl. Those Ballerinas are serious yo. At any rate I was feeling it the next day.

Now that Chad's back from camp the break is over. I attempted a 4 mile run/jog/walk/crawl the other day at noon in the 100° heat. Not my finest moment. Today we start back at P90X. And while it's a pain and it's long, I am certainly coordinated enough to do all the moves. And that, my friends, is a win.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

It's the Final Countdown! We're off to Kokomo tomorrow!

Awkward:

• A patient clipping her fingernails in our waiting room. Ugh, I really feel like that's an activity that should be restricted to your own bathroom. blegh.
• Waiting 2 hours to get 3 tires changed on our car. Apparently it is rocket science.
• A patient brought his "service" dog in with him last week. It was the most hyperactive golden retriever I've ever met. It just tore through the entire office smelling and rubbing on everything. Our office smelled like dirty wet dog the rest of the day. Needless to say the pup was a pet, NOT a service dog. However small details like that don't stop the whole of St. George from bringing their animals everywhere with them.
• Finding out halfway through your haircut that your hairdresser works for the WalMart salon during the day. She did a great job though so it all ended well.

Awesome:

• Getting our flight changed! They switched our original flights, leaving us with a 10 HOUR layover. So Chad called last night and got us on a later flight with a short layover that will get there earlier. Awesome sauce.
• Chopping 7 inches off my hair!
• Making time to go play the piano last weekend.
• Knowing we get to see a ton of family and some great friends in just a few days :)

Sittin' Pretty

Is anyone else overly excited about the 3 day weekend that is upon us! We literally have no plans, as of yet, but I am sooooo happy! No answering phones, no sweeping up toenails, no smelly feet and no dementia patients yelling at me about who the heck knows what. Hagen Daz!!! You're on your own this weekend people, you'll have to put your own shoes on! Mwahahahaha

 

Remember when I told you about trying to suck it up and run more, and actually be able to run a half marathon in a couple months? I've actually been sticking to that plan. What?! Crazy sauce, I know. Granted the first two weeks consisted mostly of 2-3 mile runs but I'm hoping they've established a pattern, and I think that they have for the most part. I'm trying to throw some P90X in there as well, that hasn't happened all that much, but the running has! And that my friends, is a win.

It's starting to be deathly hot around here. Hello 100 degrees, so glad you could join us in... May?!!?! So I'm either going to have to run at night or attempt to wake up in the morning. Sick of hearing about me trying to wake up before 8am? Yeah, I'm sick of it as well. I need to find a race that starts around 9pm. That would be perfect. Because while I don't want to wake up early for anything, once 11pm hits I'm down for the count. There's really a very brief window of time where I feel up and awake, unless there's some serious red bull involved.

Enjoy your 3 day weekend peeps!

Awkward and Awesome Thursday



What most of last week looked like. You can't beat puppy snuggles.

Awkward:

• Chad whipping a dodge ball at a 10 year old(ish) at trampoline land, bending his fingernail back and making him cry like a little girl. In his defense they boy was cheating. If that wasn't bad enough... it was the little boys birthday party. Way to kill the party Chad. Birthday ruined.
• One of our nursing home patients saying Haggen Daz over and over and over. It was like a turrets thing of sorts. Best use though was when he would replace all of the normal slew of swear words that older people enjoy with the simple phrase, "Haggen Daz!!!". You would not believe what comes out of these seniors mouths, worse than high school hallways by a mile.
• A patient calling and trying to set me up with his reformed nephew who's rich. It was a long conversations starting with, "Now are you still married?". All in all it was kinda flattering as he said he was really impressed by me. Flattering/Creepy.. then confusing when he told me he used to "pick people in hotels". What does that even mean? I'll take what I can get I guess. Once Chad heard the guy was rich he told me to go for it ;)
• Almost getting neighbors. Last Friday night there were a bunch of people next door partying until 4:30 am. Not just kinda loud but the throwing up on the back patio kind of loud as someone yelled to hold the drunk girls hair. Then... magically.... they were gone. Literally the next morning before 10am they were all gone, never to be seen again. And while I'm confused, I'm fine living with the confusion as long as I never see hear them again.

Awesome:

• Killing the cockroach I found in the shower all by myself! What? You don't immediately call someone in to kill all the bugs for you? Chad was in bed sick so I figured this one was on me. Luckily there was a cup in the bathroom I could get him into before flushing him. Goodbye!
• My office manager stopping by my house after a couponing extravaganza and gave us half of her trunk full of groceries! Super generous and delicious :)
• Chad on pain killers.
• Chad taking me shopping on Mother's Day!
• Restocking our candy drawer at the 39 cent candy sale while waiting for a prescription. KitKats and Almond Joys and Snickers, oh my!

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

It's almost Friday people.

Awkward:

• Deciding to see if the lid on my cup had shut right by tipping my glass in the middle of the carpeted hallways at work. You betcha that water came immediately spilling out everywhere.
• Writing down a new address for a patient at work. She couldn't write it down herself because she forgot her glasses. Once I'm done she looks at it and asks is that a 3?

"Uh, yeah. Should it be a 3?"

"Well, yes. But it doesn't look like a 3."

"Ok.... but it is, so..... "

"Alright well I guess I'll just have to trust that you know it's a 3."

          Yeah, you probably should since I'm not the blind one.

• I hate when people bring their dogs everywhere. And people here will bring their big dogs everywhere: the grocery store, Target, everywhere. So I was less than thrilled when two patients walked in with their little dog in hand. This is a Doctor's office people, come on. But I like dogs so I decided to get over it and tried petting this little, dinky dog. Tried being the keyword. That dog was pissed, snarled at me, and then tried to hide in it's stupid puffy vest like a turtle. New rule: No dogs allowed at the Doctor's office.
• Some little old lady from church calling to see what my new address is. She left a message telling me my visiting teachers couldn't get a hold of me and the address that they have for me is wrong. Nope, it's right. And yes, I ignored two texts from them. Two you guys. That's it. I ignore more texts than that from family and they know I haven't died, I just forgot. And why the heck did they think I moved? Maybe if they stopped by my apartment, that they have been to no less than 5 times, they would see I was still here. You'd think our bright yellow car parked in front would be a clear sign that we are still here. Gah...

Awesome:

• Finally driving up to Pine Valley, a tiny little town tucked into the mountains. It's beautiful, cool, and has a gorgeous little reservoir with pine trees. We went just before it decided to snow again up there.
• I've said it once and I'll say it again, Skype!
• Clippers made just for dog hair. It's makes things just a tad bit easier. Although that didn't stop us (ok, me) from botching her hair cut. Poor mangy looking girl.
• Sno Cones are officially back in our lives again! YAY!

Birthday Madness

Between my Birthday fun (Happy Birthday to Me :) ) and work, it's been a crazy week. Today was the first day we ate at home this week, cereal counts as dinner right? Chad took me out to eat on Monday because it was the day before my birthday and then of course we went out last night because it was actually my birthday! We do week long birthday at our house ;)

There were flowers from my work

And a chocolate mousse bomb

Work has been crazy nuts-o and we've also been trying to help out the Grandparents when they need it as well. We've been busy and happy. Even happier because the birthday fun will last all the way through this weekend. You can't ask for much more than that.

Balloons brought to work by the hubby

More flowers and treats from the hubby brought to work. Caffeine was needed and appreciated!

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

Don't get too distracted by our awesome new hat not to notice Chad wearing my sparkly new shoes.

Awkward:

• She's baaaaack. Brittany in all her sobbing, life ending, drama is back. Her baby daddy left with all her things (in what world does this make sense, you need a better lie sweetie). Her child is constantly running around outside in nothing but her undies. She wasn't all wrapped up like a homeless person in 8 blankets last time she came over so Chad got a peek at the worst tattoo ever. Anyone surprised? I can't imagine home girl is capable of paying her rent since she couldn't get a job at Taco Bell, so maybe she won't be here in a few weeks. Want to know why she didn't ace that interview? No? I didn't either but she still told me so I'm telling you - she brought her daughter to the interview with her. If that doesn't scream "hire me!" I don't know what does. End Rant.
• Waking up for church bright and early Sunday morning at 8am only to remember that our start time had changed. The only question was to when....? This is when it would be nice to have friends in our ward. Unfortunately we are such hideous people that everyone avoids us like the plague. Luckily my visiting teacher has to at least pretend to like me and she texted me our new time ;) So happy for 11am church now!
• Eating brownie sundaes and drinking red bull while watching The Biggest Loser Monday night. Not the first time this happened and it wont be the last.
• Freaking out at work because I couldn't find my phone. Is it in the kitchen? No. Bathroom? No. Ok, ok, retrace your steps Danielle. After you left the bathroom you...? Came back to my desk and started playing a game on my... phone. I seriously started freaking out that I couldn't find my phone while I was ON my phone.

Awesome:

• Shopping in Vegas and being able to actually buy things (late Christmas presents and early Birthday presents for me!). It was nice to not window shop :)
• Comfy new shoes.
• Chad's new school/camera bag.
• Landlords that respond immediately.
• Financial Aid :)
• New Scrubs, that I didn't have to pay for!
• Watching my dog become completely paralyzed after putting a little doggy backpack on her.
• Texas Road House bringing us a box full of rolls into work. There were only 2 of us at work that day and we had 4 dozen rolls and a tub of cinnamon butter. Doesn't get much better than that on a Wednesday afternoon without any patients!

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

I'm not the only awkward one in this marriage.

Awkward:

• Almost running over an ax in the road. Why is there an ax in the middle of a 5 lane highway? We pulled over and Chad moved it.... to the back seat of our car, so it can impale us if we get in an accident of course.
• Remember how I ranted and raved all about the horrible drivers here in good ol' St George? I'm starting to understand why, in drivers ed they don't actually drive, they pretend to drive using simulators. Yeah, cause that's the same thing... The doctor's daughter keeps failing the simulator because she's too afraid to drive over 4 mph.
• Patients wandering around the office. We have a fake tree blocking the doorway to our front office from the back office. Some crazy lady tried to squeeze past the tree to where I was THREE TIMES the other day. I told her she couldn't be back here and she looked so confused. Then she tried 2 more times. Seriously lady, take a hint. A big tree sized hint.
• Patients showing up on the wrong day crying about whatever crazy is going on in their life and me being like "well.... I guess we'll see you next Tuesday then...."
• My grandma's reaction every time she remembers that Chad and I are vegetarian. It's seriously the most offensive thing we could have done to her. Her face is priceless every time.

Awesome:

• CHRISTMAS!!! Duh...
• Getting your financial aid adjustment to finally go through since you make a whole heck of a lot less now.
• Eating your weight in Christmas cookies
• Heating Pads
• Instant Dry nail polish
• The Next Iron Chef

I'm sure there were many more awkward moments over the Christmas break but frankly I was too excited to have everyone here and celebrate to even remember!

Any awkwardness over your holidays?

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

It's almost Friday!!!

Awkward:

• Chad messing with some camera equipment and getting a giant chunk of plastic in his eye. I ran over to help him and thought I would have to fish around to find it. Yeah, no. It was huge, and black and right there. I tried to get it out but finally just told him he'd have to do it. I swore he was going to poke his eye out going after it with a pair of tweezers but he got it!

• The awesome nursing home lady who has fake puppies she carries around in her basket on her walker. Best part, one of them has a cone around it's head. Those crazy puppies, always hurting themselves.
• Being on a first name basis with the people at the surronding gas stations. Only 2 really. But isn't that 2 too many? I won't even tell you why.
• Dropping my phone in the parking lot while grocery shopping last night. The pixels are all weird now so it looks like there is a fetus on my phone. I used to drop my iphone on a freaking daily basis on the way into my old job. Never bothered it. Not a scratch, not a dent, nothing. That phone was a champ. I drop this thing once and now I've got an alien baby looking back at me.
• The grumpy old couple at the Nursing Home we visit. They are the grouchiest, angriest couple ever but they crack me up. They never let the Dr. work on them and it's a riot to listen to them grumble and gossip about people. Last month they were sitting outside, enjoying the 90 degree heat of the morning, soaking up the sunshine, all in their giant winter coats. LOL. I was a sweaty mess and here they were sitting out in the sun in their down coats that came down to their knees. Love it.

Awesome:

• Desert Industries. It's our Salvation Army. And while really, it sucks, no colored tag sale of the day, no specials ever really, and everything seems to be overpriced, it's all we got! I have become a DI champ. I go into the dressing room with arms of (mostly) crap and usually manage to find a few cheap gems.
• Pawn Stores. While I love the DI Chad loves all the Pawn Shops around here. He's been able to get some killer deals as of late. Like, quick run out of the store before they realized what just happened, killer deals.

Chad's latest loot from the Pawn Shop

• Chad's pictures from his photo shoot last week. While he hasn't been able to edit many yet (too many tests) he's got some killer shots and I can't wait to see how they turn out once he edits them.
• Nikki and Matt come NEXT WEEK! AHHH! We are SOOOOOOO excited!
• Cookie Dough. I made cookie dough over the Labor Day weekend and ran out of regular flour, so I used some cake flour to make up the difference. Note to self: cake flour is not the same as regular flour. They were the flattest cookies ever made, and didn't really taste that good. Upside? I now have a cookie dough just chillin in the freezer for me to munch on. A spoonful of cookie dough is the perfect way to end a long day.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

Don't be Jealous

Awkward:

• While waiting for Chad to get out of class I overhear a couple getting in their car. "Babe, babe, babe..." Was three "babes" necessary to get her attention? She gets in the car and then he does it again, 3 times, and then again. I've never heard the word "Babe" be used so much in such a short span of time. I was openly laughing at them. The girl looked a little annoyed. At him, not me mocking her boyfriend.
• The names out here still crack me up. My new favorite, some 18 year old guy named Vegas. Classy job with the names people.
• Chad was running low on time for lunch yesterday so he heated up some leftover pasta, threw it in a plastic baggie and at it in the car on the way to school. No fork needed, just slurped it out of the bag.
• A Doctor dropped by yesterday to tell he was new in town and was an allergist. What he actually meant to say was he was crazy. He told me he could cure any allergy using acupressure. Most allergies he can cure after 1 visit: allergies to your children, vericose veins, Autism, and Poor Memory. I didn't realize these were all allergies. Or that you could cure them with some pressure along your spine, once. Thanks for brightening my day!

Awesome:

• Getting compliments on whatever you're trying on in the dressing room. Isn't that the best? Chad liked it to, so with 4 yes votes it came home with me. Love the sales at TJMaxx!
• We are only seeing patients 2 days this week! So happy :)
• Am I the last one to find out that Jillian is coming back to Biggest Loser in January? Overly excited for that one. Dissapointed I have to wait until January though. Hopefully it's better than the crapfest last season.
• Bunheads. It's like a crappier version of Gilmore Girls. But, after you've seen every episode of Gilmore Girls a bazillion times it's nice to mix it up a bit. Granted, it's not as good, but it's good enough!
• They have a sushi bar at our new favorite grocery store. It's just like the Kroger sushi. Now granted this isn't what we've been looking for, and Chad refuses to eat it, but I like it. I get the ones with the fake crab in it and while it's not fantastic, it doesn't leave me feeling sick and satisfies that craving. Once again, good enough!
• Chad's rock climbing class. Every Wednesday he picks me up from work dirty, exhausted, sweaty and very excited. Not only is this class perfect for him, he's making a lot of new friends to climb and bike with.

Exorcist Needed ASAP

 
My work phone is possessed. By what? Satan most likely. Unless I'm calling a local number it is almost impossible to get through. Let me paint you a picture.

Once a month the Doctor goes to this small, tiny, little town in Nevada. I've obviously never been to this ridiculously small town but I've heard the stories. The most fabulous and ridiculous stories of the most crazy and insane people. The Doctor went to help someone take of their shoes so he could trim their nails and guess what he found in the shoes? Go ahead, guess.

Poop

No lie. Not some animal poo on the outside that maybe they had stepped in. Human poo. INSIDE the shoe. Classy. These people are uber classy. I'm assuming that you've all got a nice picture of this town in your lovely heads now. Moving on!

So, it is my job to call these patients and set up appointments for them when their turn is up. They obviously cannot be trusted to call and make their own appointments. Most of these patients are older, most of them are confused about what I'm calling about, most of them claim they don't see this Doctor, and most of them apparently poop in their shoes.

But before I even get to have these glorious conversations with these glorious people I have to actually get through to them on Satan's phone. I'll break down how it works:

Attempt #1:   "Your call cannot be completed as dialed, please hang up and try again"

Attempt #2:   "The number you are dialing has been disconnected"  (no it hasn't!)

Attempt #3:   The phone starts to ring! YES! Then complete silence after the first and only ring. NO!

Attempt #4:    Silence

Attempt #5:    Ringing, followed with the above confusing conversation. Did I mention that I'm yelling my part of the conversation because apparently no one can hear and no one owns hearing aids. It's a good time.

This is actually a pretty good representation of how EVERY SINGLE call goes. Every call takes an average of 5 times to finally go through, some more, some less. Not time consuming at all. And sometimes my phone decides to go even more berserk.

I'll finally get a hold of someone and while I can hear them, they can't hear me. Sigh.

Ringing.... Silence... Busy signal

Busy signal.... Ringing..... Silence

Ringing.... Ringing... Loud, horrible, ear piercing tone

*My Personal Favorite* The phone will be ringing and someone will answer. Then as soon as I try to respond the phone will start ringing again. What the freaking heck is going on?

Clearly Satan's phone doesn't like this town either. I think I need an exorcist.

Awkward and Awesome Thursday

Happy 100 Posts!

The first and most awsome thing: rainbow lettering. Why don't I use rainbow lettering all the time like my inner 4th grader wants to?

This is perhaps one of my favorite days to write, it's fun to think back through the week and be greatful for all of the "awesome" things that have happened. And of course it's funny to remember the "awkward" as well. Most of the time it's the awkward that makes the week interesting and fun! Hopefully you've enjoyed it as well and have been able to think back on your own week and all of the fun wrapped up in it!

Awkward:

• Poor Sunny is getting old. He had a bunch of mats on him, and now has a bunch of bald spots and a rat tail. Along with the tumor/goiter thing on his neck he's very sad looking. 
• Forgetting to put our trash out and having 2 weeks worth pile up. The going out in the dead of night to divide it up between our trash can and all of our neighbors trash cans. 
• Spazing out about getting my hair done. Does any other girl hate getting their hair done or am I the only crazy one?
• Not being able to speak all week. All of a sudden my mouth forgets how to form words while I'm trying to talk to patients on the phone, super professional. And not just mispronouncing something and just moving on, but I can't spit out words and have to stop, apologize and try again.
• I woke Chad up Saturday morning and he told me to "keep it sexy". LOL. He then promptly closed his eyes and continued sleeping.
• Taking people's blood pressure at work. We have this tiny little baby cuff that doesn't fit on you unless you are a tiny little baby of a person. So I get to attempt to put it on everyone and then have to break the news to them if they don't have a tiny little baby arm. "Sorry mam, your giant lump of an arm won't fit into this ridiculous small cuff, sorry you're such a fatty". Obviously I try to play it off like it's the cuff's fault (which it is) but they still look at me like I am the worst. Then when they come back in 9 weeks we get to play the game all over again. Woot.  

Awesome:

• Will's been here all week! We LOVE having friends visit!
• Finding a new pair of gently worn scrubs at the Salvation Army for $8. Score! And the pants weren't just my size but also a long. Double Score!
• Meeting an 80 year old woman who used to be a Las Vegas showgirl. She had some stoooories!
• Shaved Ice. Have I mentioned how much shaved ice rocks? Because it's the best... ever. 
• We've been having some seriously awesome sunsets as of late.
• Panera Mac and Cheese. It's way too expensive for the amount you get but it's so good we don't even care. And if you're going to Panera you can't leave without a chocolate chip cookie. Mac and Cheese with chocolate chip cookies - dinner of champions!
• The Olympics. I love watching the Olympics. We've seen sooooo much volleyball and gymnastics the past week, and it's been great! We can't get enough. It makes me want to go running or start swimming. Then I realize it's midnight and I just go to bed instead. Is there a gold medal for sleeping?
• Moving the guest mattress downstairs in our living room. Best. Idea. Ever. "Picnic" dinners are so much more fun on a mattress and it makes an afternoon nap that much better.