Monday, December 16, 2013

On Failing and Facing Fears

I started rock climbing a couple months ago. I also started a little yoga challenge on instagram last week. These two things alone have started to create a lot of failure in my life.

Let me start by saying that I do not like to try new things. In fact I really hate new things. New experiences, new people, new places, new jobs, new whatever. I don't like the unknown. I don't like not knowing what I'm doing, feeling like a fool, and then failing.

As I'm getting older, and married someone who loves all the new things, I am slowly starting to accept this whole trying new things "thing". Slooooowly. Chad's really had to be patient with me.

Obviously failing is no fun. It's a blow to your ego, it just doesn't feel nice and it's even less fun when it's in public and you feel like everyone is watching. If I'm going to fail miserably please let me do it in private where no one can watch me cry.

Rock Climbing has really made me face all my failure right in the face. And scary? I was terrified when I started. Terrified. There were melt downs. Multiple. Some days are good and some days I make it 5 feet off the ground while a 10 year old girl zips past me on the route next to mine. Talk about some serious failure, in front of a bunch of people no less.

Then there's my yoga challenge. I take pictures of certain poses and post them to my instagram account. Again, no hiding there. Also a bit intimidating when there are people doing full on one handed handstand backbend thingys. See, I don't even know what any of these things are called. And to be honest, I still can't lean backwards with this back of mine, let alone bend backwards.

I'm a new climber and a new yogi. I am a beginner and don't know much. But I'm trying and I'm getting better and stronger. We all have to start somewhere and I am starting at the very beginning of these 2 awesome activities. And there's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with trying hard, learning and yes, even failing along the way.

As Tony would say "Do your best and forget the rest". Wise words Tony, very wise indeed.

So I'm trying to be at peace with all of the failing currently happening in my life. I'm trying not to let fear hold me back from trying. I may not be able to do something perfect, but I can push pass the fear and try. I can do my best.

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